180: How to get your children to stop fighting

If there’s one topic that never fails to rile parents up, it’s sibling fighting. Why does it affect us so much?  (There are two main reasons.) Why is this happening, and what can we do about it?  There are two main reasons, and one strategy to use with each reason. That’s it! There are not an infinite number of reasons why this is happening, or an infinite number of things to try to get it to stop. This episode will help you to identify the cause of the fighting, and how to make it stop. Sound too good to be true?  It isn’t.  Check out what parents have said about the workshop and sign up: Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits Do you have a child aged 1 - 10? Are they resisting, ignoring you, and talking back at every request you make? Do you often feel frustrated, annoyed, and even angry with them? Are you desperate for their cooperation - but don't know how to get it? If your children are constantly testing limits, the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop is for you. Go from constant struggles and nagging to a new sense of calm & collaboration. I will teach you how to set limits, but we'll also go way beyond that to learn how to set fewer limits than you ever thought possible. Sign up now for the self-guided Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits for just $7. Click the banner to learn more.     Jump to highlights: 02:07 Challenges of having multiple children 03:39 How parents' reactions to their children's fighting can be influenced by their own past experiences with their siblings. 07:00 The need to make pause before reacting to a child’s behavior 07:52 Understanding the causes of siblings fight 08:34 A fictitious story about a sibling fight to show two possible scenarios that may result from two opposing reactions from a parent 10:40 Scenario 1: Parent explodes and blames one child as aggressor during sibling fight 12:10 Scenario 2: Parent makes a pause, remains calm, does not blame anyone 15:00 Importance of having an empathetic discussion with your children 20:45 The struggles of Adrianna and Tim began when a new child was added to the family. 24:46 How Parenting Membership help Adrianna and Tim 25:54 Adrianna shares how bodhi shows his empathy towards her sister 27:35 How adding a sibling rocks an older child’s world 28:42 What are some ways to support our older child in managing challenging emotions so that they continue to feel valued and loved by us. 31:24 Sibling fight as a child’s unskillful strategy to getting their needs met 33:55 Figuring out the commonly unmet needs of our children 35:05 The answer to a child’s unmet needs:  Spend 1:1 time with them 36:25 The importance of letting the child direct your ‘special time’ 37:48 Why parents shouldn’t treat all their children in the same way 39:16 Adrianna’s reflections   [accordion][accordion-item title="Click here to read the full transcript"]   Kelly Peterson 00:03 Hi, this is Kelly Peterson from Chicago, Illinois. There's no other resource out there quite like Your Parenting Mojo, which doesn't just tell you about the latest scientific research on parenting and child development, but puts it into context for you as well so you can decide whether and how to use this new information. If you'd like to get new episodes in your inbox along with a free infographic on 13 Reasons Your Child Isn't Listening to You and what to do about each one, sign up at YourParentingMojo.com/subscribe. If you'd like to start a conversation with someone about this episode, or you know someone who would find it useful, please do forward it to them. Thank you so much. Jen Lumanlan 00:55 Hello and welcome to the Your Parenting Mojo podcast.  Your kids never fight, right?  I didn’t think so.  Of all the challenges that parents come to me with, sibling...