What To Say To Your Kids When You Don’t Have a Clue

   We average about one conversation a week, with one or other of our children, during which we are suddenly at a total loss as to what to say. Perhaps you too have had a few Tough Questions like these:  Is Santa real?  What is racism?  If I go to heaven, will my toys come too?  When answering Tough Questions like these, Amy feels that it’s important not to have innocence-ending conversations too early. She calls it “age-appropriate obfuscation.” Keep it simple, keep it reassuring.  But Margaret likes to call this approach “Say ‘Delay,’ Run Away,” and she has somewhat of a point. The Tough Questions need to be answered, and if a parent doesn’t step up, a kid might just seek out some peer education, bound to be rife with misinformation.  In this episode, we discuss    * why it’s hard to explain concepts like racism to children young enough to be unaware of it  * how to let the child lead any delicate discussion with her questions (rather than your answers)  * the power of the pause before responding  * why you should always leave a little bit left over to divulge for next time  * why we all just have to figure out the Easter Bunny back story already Here’s some of the best advice we have collected: * from Meg’s sister in law: Only answer the question you are asked. * from educator Danielle McLaughlin: “In order to actually engage our children, we need to find out what it is that they already know and what are they seeking to understand.” * from Michael Thompson, PhD: “Pausing for a moment…lets your child know you are taking him seriously.” * from PBS Parents: save a little bit of information for the next conversation on the same topic. Cause it’s coming. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices