Is It Sometimes Easier When Our Spouses Aren't Around?

There are lots of reasons why someone might find parenting easier when their spouse is not around, and not all of them are a cause to call in the couples therapist. A listener posted in our Facebook group: Anyone else feel like things are easier when their spouse isn’t home? We’ve been dealing with some family issues so he is out of town. I find that when he isn’t here, my kids listen better, we make a good team and work together, they sleep better, etc. Is that weird? How can one person make such a difference? Not much has changed except I do a little more (take out the trash, drop kids off at school) so it’s not that I have more time. It just seems more peaceful in our home or something. And to be honest, I’m not sure it’s a good sign! When we're solo parenting, we have more alone time, we don't have to negotiate child-related or housework-related decisions, and there are fewer dishes and dirty clothes to wash. If you like it when your spouse is away, that doesn't mean you love them any less or they're a bad spouse. But are there advantages we can consider making part of our parenting all the time? That might also be a possibility. Amy and Margaret discuss: Why it's easier to solo parent sometimes How the pandemic changed couple dynamics How to discuss with our spouse how we feel We've launched a new network! Adalyst Media is where women come to listen. Find out more about Adalyst Media at adalystmedia.com. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Katie Cloyd for Scary Mommy: "My Life Is Easier When My Husband Travels" Meredith Bland for Parent Map: "Parenting is Easier When My Husband is Out of Town" We Did Not Sign Up For Being With Our Spouses 24/7 (with guest Damona Hoffman) A Room Of Our Own: Claiming the Space We Need Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning rewards with every diaper & wipes purchase.  Betterhelp online therapy is affordable, confidential, and effective! Give it a try and see if online therapy can help lower your stress. Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/fresh. Gladskin is clinically proven skincare for people of all ages with eczema, acne, and rosacea. October is National Eczema Awareness Month! Get 15% off plus free shipping at gladskin.com/FRESH. Honeylove shapewear is the secret sauce you need for your everyday wardrobe. Get 20% off at honeylove.com with the code FRESH. Give Awesome this holiday with KiwiCo! Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/fresh.  Indeed is the only job site where you're guaranteed to find quality applicants that meet your must-have requirements-- or else you don't pay! Visit indeed.com/LAUGHING to start hiring now.  Little Spoon is a one-stop shop for healthy, easy mealtime for your baby, toddler and big kid. Enter code WHATFRESH at checkout to get 50% OFF your first Little Spoon delivery order.  Mathnasium uses customized learning plans to give your child exactly what they need, whether it's bridging the gap, or raising the level of challenge. Get a free consultation today at mathnasium.com. Misfits Market is an affordable online grocery service that makes grocery shopping fast and easy. Visit get.misfitsmarket.com/FRESH30 by Dec. 31st to get 30% off your first order. Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it. Take your FREE in-depth hair consultation and get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.  Rakuten is an online shopping platform that gives you Cash Back when you shop at thousands of merchants. Start shopping at rakuten.com or get the Rakuten app to start saving today. StoryWorth is an online service that helps you and your loved ones connect through sharing stories and memories and preserves them for years to come. Save $10 off your first purchase at storyworth.com/whatfreshhell Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices