Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue (208)

What is secure attachment and how can I grow my own capacity for security? We’ve covered the different protection and connection strategies - preoccupied (red on the spectrum), dismissing (blue on the spectrum), and unresolved (tie-dye), but today’s episode is all about what secure attachment actually looks like in daily life. You’ve experienced the continuum from red, blue, or even tie-dye, but how do you know when you’re in your green? A securely attached system doesn’t mean you’re never upset - it’s about having the ability to stay engaged while you have big feelings.  In this episode, Ann and Sue discuss what this can look like conversationally, conditions that promote a secure base in parenting, and how to check in with yourself and deepen your connection with others. Security feels like: 'people are generally trustworthy, and so am I' - Dr. Ann Kelley Time Stamps for Secure Attachment 2:06 - What does security look like? 2:39 - Reminder of red and blue meanings in attachment 6:46 - Sue’s Bigfoot attachment analogy 8:27 - A secure attachment base is not the same as feeling securely attached 9:19 - The importance of integration and security 12:23 - Example of “joining” in conversation 19:39 - Understanding the attachment continuum 27:40 - Interactive questions to gauge your security 34:47 - Insightful questions to ask peers about influence 37:11 - Sue’s physical queues to know she’s in the green 39:37 - The role of curiosity in your green state 43:18 - Tracking your activation exercise Resources for Secure Attachment https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu151-secure-parenting-dan-siegel-tina-payne-bryson-replay/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/secure-relating-not-the-same-as-secure-attachment-with-ann-sue-190/ https://therapistuncensored.com/episodes/tu-149-modern-attachment-regulation-spectrum-an-integrated-model-of-change/   Secure Attachment & Recognizing Secure States of Mind with Ann & Sue - Transcripts Please consider giving to Mental Health Liberation   We support mental health access to those traditionally left out of mainstream healthcare and use a portion of the income we receive from corporate sponsors to do just that!  We can only do that with the help of our Patrons – joining as a TU Neuronerd Podsquad premium subscriber, you support this mission and get a dedicated ad-free feed plus occasional very cool and unique study opportunities, reading groups, and unique surprises!  We invite you to join our community. Click here to join!