286 SelfWork: When You Fear Disclosure, Maternal Abandonment, and Suicide After An Affair

Trigger Warning: References to Suicide (International Suicide Prevention Resources) After the shootings in New York, California and Texas within the last couple of weeks, I'm preparing an episode concerning mental health issues that may play a part in violent crime, but also - and very clearly - where they do not play a part. Hatred can be taught. Absorbed. It's very different than true mental illness. But that research will take a bit. So, this episode highlights the email questions that you’ve sent to me – and my responses. The questions are diverse, as well as challenging. The first is from a man who identifies with perfectly hidden depression but cannot see a way to not fear that others will see his vulnerability.. The second from a mother of three whose suffered with postpartum depression, while her own mom has abandoned her. She says quite poignantly, “I see articles written on adult children abandoning their parents, but not adult parents abandoning their adult children.”  Last, we’ll hear from a widow who found an article of mine on her deceased spouse’s IPad – he killed himself before he even made it to a second therapy session with her after she learned of an affair. And she has deep, troubling feelings – and wants my help. BetterHelp is sponsoring this episode – I’m always honored to answer your questions. And today is no exception. Thank you for being here. Settle in and let’s learn more about these issues. Important Links and A Great Offer!  BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! My article in the Gottman Blog about healing from affairs Episode on suicide from Nora McInerny's podcast "Terrible Thanks for Asking." You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook! And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands