Wade Mullen: The Power of Truth & Sincerity

Guest Bios Show Transcript https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-I-w6rPMy5M How should you respond when a survivor reveals their story? What does he or she need in that moment? And can we avoid common mistakes that compound a survivor’s pain and trauma? All too often, pastors, Christian leaders, and congregations respond to abuse survivors in the worst way possible. They employ something called DARVO—Denying the abuse, Attacking the truth-tellers, and Reversing the Victim and Offender. In this insightful and pastoral talk at the Restore Conference, author and survivor advocate, Wade Mullen, explains a better way. Put simply: survivors need people who will listen actively to their stories and respond with truth and sincerity. It seems common sense—even easy. But as Wade expertly describes, there are often “walls of denial” to overcome, especially if we’re responsible or complicit with the abuse in some way. Using the simple acronym, SCORE, Wade outlines a godly way to respond to survivors. We refuse to deny, attack, and repeat the lies of the perpetrator. Instead, we Surrender. We confess. We own. We recognize. And we empathize. The steps are incredibly simple, but they’re not easy. They require authentic repentance—something that can be excruciatingly painful. Yet, for the survivor, it is profoundly healing as Wade has seen over many years of ministry and advocacy. This Week’s Guest Wade Mullen Wade Mullen, Ph.D., is a professor, researcher, and advocate working to help those trapped in the confusion and captivity that mark abusive situations. His personal experiences and ongoing research enable him to write with both care and expertise. He is the author of Something's Not Right: Decoding the hidden tactics of abuse and freeing yourself from its power. Show Transcript JULIE ROYS How should you respond when a survivor tells you their story? What does a survivor need in that moment? And how can we avoid common mistakes that compound the survivor’s pain and trauma? Welcome to The Roys Report—a podcast dedicated to reporting the truth and restoring the church. I’m Julie Roys. And no doubt, abuse and responding to survivors has become a key issue in the church. But too often, pastors, Christian leaders, and congregations respond in the worst way possible. They employ something called DARVO—denying the abuse, attacking the truth-tellers and reversing the victim and offender. But in this insightful and pastoral talk at the Restore Conference, author and survivor advocate, Wade Mullen, explains a better way. Put simply, survivors need people who will listen actively to their stories and respond with truth and sincerity. It seems pretty easy and common sense. But as Wade expertly describes, there are often “walls of denial” to overcome—especially if we’re responsible or complicit with the abuse in some way. Too often, people repeat the lies of the perpetrator. Or, they excuse the abuse—or minimize its impact. They justify, compare, deny, and do anything they can to avoid taking ownership. But there is a better way. Using the simple acronym, SCORE, Wade outlines a godly way to respond to survivors. We refuse to deny and attack and instead, we Surrender. We confess. We own. We recognize. And we empathize. The steps are incredibly simple, but they’re not easy. They require authentic repentance—something that can be excruciatingly painful. Yet, for the survivor, it is profoundly healing. I’m so excited to share Wade’s message with you. But first, I’d like to thank the sponsors of this podcast—Judson University and Marquardt of Barrington . . . Judson is a top-ranked Christian University providing a caring community and an excellent college experience. Plus, the school offers more than 60 majors, great leadership opportunities, and strong financial aid. Judson University is “Shaping Lives that Shape the World.” For more information, just go to JUDSONU.EDU!  Also, if you’re looking for a quality new or used ca