042: The Negative Impact of Comparison On The Child's Self-Esteem

We’ve all done it. At one time or another, we have compared our children to someone else’s. How many times have we said, “Look at so-and-so, why can’t you be like them?” Even though never said with an ill intent, comparing children leads to poor self-esteem. A few takeaways from this episode: Before the child can look to someone else as a role model and feel inspired to do what they do, they need to have a strong sense of self-worth already instilled in them. The child relies on our approval and feedback, in order to know how to feel about what they are doing. If we talk by ways of comparison we come across judgmental and this will create an inner critic in the child’s private world of thoughts and feelings. When someone else’s praise and opinion has been given the power to motivate, it will equally gain the power to deflate and to put down. That is the ultimate cost of comparison. Let us do what we can to keep our children away from the comparison trap. Let us not set them up for failure before they have experienced success.     Need more ideas? Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training.     Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram @theparentingpresence. Additional info is available at theparentingpresence.com