036: Managing Expectations With Children

Expectations and limits can send out kids into resistance and tantrums... How well your child is following expectations and limits you set for them, depends on three important keys:   How reasonable these limits are The quality of our relationship with the child How repetitive and consistent are these limits   If the child is not following expectations we already set for them, the likelihood that they will comply with even more expectations — is miniscule. So before we set new limits, we need to troubleshoot our previous efforts by focusing on these three keys: Reason, Relationship, and Repetition.​   You might be wondering... If consistency, routines, and rules are so important, why do our children constantly challenge them?   Actually, children do not challenge the limits themselves (unless these limits are developmentally not appropriate), but the way they are set. If there is a tension and a conflict surrounding the limit, the child will be less agreeable to follow through. What can help us get to the other side and reach compliance? Relationship, reasonable limits, and expectations that are part of a routine (i.e., consistent).   Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training.   Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach With questions and comments, please reach out on Instagram @theparentingpresence. Additional info is available at theparentingpresence.com