030: Meeting the Child's Needs vs. Bending to Their Wishes

Why is it that we can assert ourselves with other adults, but give in with our children? Why is it that we can decline an invitation and say “Thank you for thinking of me, and I won’t be able to. I have made other plans.” Yet we feel forced into a game our child set up for us... It is harder to tell NO to our children than it is to other people.   Why is that?   Because we misunderstand what our role is as a parent and think that it is our responsibility to make sure our children have "everything they need." And yes, of course, I agree with this — it is our responsibility to give children what they need — if we are indeed talking about needs.   Trouble is, we rarely slow down to consider the difference between needs and wants.   We respond to the child's request on auto-pilot — since the child is asking, it must be needed, therefore it is our job to fulfill the request. Seems logical and therefore, our autopilot response kicks in.   But there must be a line there somewhere. Right? Yes, there is a line between Yes and No, and that line lies in the difference between the true Needs and simply a Want.   Tune into this episode to learn more about that to be able to say Yes or No with more confidence.        Sign up here for the Emotionally Intelligent Parenting training.   Host: Julia Pappas, Psychologist & Parent Coach More info at theparentingpresence.com