Anonymous Sources/Demon Bread/Weird Christian Videos News Show 9.11.2020
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This is The Babylon Bee Weekly News Show for the week of 9/11/2020. In this episode of The Babylon Bee Podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s biggest stories like California’s progressive green energy grid leading the nation in brownouts, anonymous sources totally confirming that Trump punched a baby, and a man blowing up his house in an attempt to swat a fly. Kyle and Ethan also dig into the video archives to find really weird videos from Christian music and educational programming to talk about how weird they are. For example, why is that loaf of bread talking to us? Intro Kyle and Ethan discuss September 11 and Frank J. Fleming’s Superego: Fathom Audible release. Stuff That’s Good Kyle likes the video game Fall Guys. Ethan likes a Youtube Channel called Corridor Crew. Weird News Beer made with whale testicle and sheep dung among exhibits at 'disgusting' booze museum The Swedish museum says people can be "very desperate to get drunk" and in such a situation become "quite inventive" Other gross brews: wine fermented in a prison toilet, a spit-fermented cornmeal beer from Peru, a Ugandan gin made from fermented bananas, and an ancient Korean beverage fermented from children's faeces and rice, which was thought to be medicinal in the past. There is also a strong Scottish brew served from the mouth of a taxidermied squirrel. Anheuser-Busch's non-alcoholic 'Dog Brew' quickly sells out Why not feed the dogs the whale testicle beer Doctors pull 4ft snake from woman’s throat after it slithered in as she slept Doctors remove 15lb ball of hair from teenager’s stomach Residents rescue donkey with plastic chair stuck around its head Goat hops into deputy's car, chews on civil papers, head butts officer Man, 80, blows up his kitchen while trying to swat a fly Stories of the Week Governor Newsom Claims Rolling Blackouts Are To Show Support For Black Lives Matter Summary: California has been experiencing blackouts across the state. While many thought the blackouts were due to poor planning and unrealistic green energy requirements, Governor Gavin Newsom clarified that he ordered the blackouts as a powerful display supporting BLM. CA passed AB-32 in 2006 which basically says the state should be half green energy by 2025. CA currently is about 30% powered by wind and solar (mostly solar) During heatwaves there is no wind, and at night there is no sun, so at night, CA loses nearly 30% of its energy. SCIENCE! 'Humans Are Basically Good,' Says Man Who Has Never Met A 3-Year-Old Summary: Local man Chad Bruner says he believes all humans are born good, that altruism is man’s natural state, and that it is society and parenting that corrupts them. Incidentally, Bruner had no younger siblings, no kids of his own, not even any nephews or nieces or even some neighbor kids. When asked ‘Have you ever even met a three year old once in your life?” he answered no. Anonymous White House Source Claims Trump Punched A Baby Summary: According to an anonymous source in the White House, President Trump shocked aides and other staffers last year when he lost his temper and punched a baby in the face. The Atlantic published a piece saying that Trump called the dead soldiers in a war “losers.” When [John] McCain died, in August 2018, Trump told his senior staff, according to three sources with direct knowledge of this event, 'We're not going to support that loser's funeral,' and he became furious, according to witnesses, when he saw flags lowered to half-staff. 'What the f--- are we doing that for? Guy was a f---ing loser,' the president told aides." Trump and many from the White House staff have forcibly denied the allegations published in The Atlantic on Thursday, alleging, according to four unnamed sources, that the president referred to dead soldiers buried at the Aisne-Marne American cemetery near Paris as "suckers" and that the land was "filled with losers" during his visit to France in 2018. People present came out and said it didn’t happen, including our favorite walrus, John Bolton. Topic of the Week The Babylon Bee Writers React to Weird Christian Videos Jesus is a Friend of Mine Third Eagle of the Apocalypse The Renewed Mind Is The Key Carman - A Witch’s Invitation Creepy bread loaf at minute 1:50 Hate Mail Young earth creationists send in some hate over our recent interview and some guy wrote us to make sure we knew that Trump did not punch that baby. Subscriber Portion Calvin H. sent in audio and wants to know from Kyle what a libertarian America would look like and the guys tell more stories about crazy stuff that neighbors and family friends have done to them. To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.