740: How Defined Values Lead to Long-term Happiness | w/ Russ Harris

Happiness is not meant to be a permanent state you exist in, but if you’re not meant to just feel good all the time, what is the end goal of creating our happiness and how do we approach the inevitable pain and suffering we all face in life? What to Listen ForWhy can negative emotions be your best friend when it comes to your happiness?Russ Harris debunks the popular myths about happiness and explains how they can actually lead you to be miserableIn what ways are meaning and purpose related to your ability to maintain your happiness in the long term?How does Russ Harris define a rich and meaningful life that leads to an overall feeling of happiness?What can you do to be more comfortable and accepting of “negative” emotions and how does doing so help you avoid suffering?What is the difference between values, virtues, and morals?Why is it so important to define your values if you want to lead a rich and meaningful life full of happiness?Russ Harris explains what the “reality gap” and “reality slap” are and how your awareness of them can lead you to better handle life’s challengesWhat is the magic wand question and how can you use it to narrow down your most important valuesHow do you translate values into goals and action plans to ensure you don’t stagnate?4 One of the most popular myths revolving around happiness is this idea that once you “achieve” it you’ll transcend feelings like anger, sadness, pain, and hate, but these are all part of the full depth of human experience. To attempt to remove them from your experience is to remove a part of your humanity. We utilize all of our feelings and emotions to better understand ourselves and the world we live in. Instead, we want to change the way we look at such emotions, strive to understand what is causing you to feel unpleasant emotions, and make better choices about how you respond to them when you start feeling them. Finally, we want to learn to look inward for explanations instead of reacting outward with blame and spite. A Word From Our Sponsors Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! Squarespace is the all-in-one solution for anyone looking to create a beautiful website. Check out squarespace.com/CHARM for a free trial and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code CHARM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain” Joybird is premium quality furniture, customized exactly how you want it. Go to joybird.com/CHARM and receive an exclusive offer for 25% off your first order by using the code CHARM. For a limited time, Postmates is giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days. To start your free deliveries, download the app RIGHT NOW and use code “CHARM2019” Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris Mindfulness Myths on YouTube The Choice Point on YouTube ACT Questions and Answers: A Practitioner's Guide to 150 Common Sticking Points in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy by Russ Harris Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Twitter