What Your Heart is Hungry For

Find out how what your heart is really hungry for. Chances are if you're stress eating, it's not about the food. Petra Beumer, Founder of the Mindful Eating Institute, is a gentle warrior in the weight loss world where rules and discipline dominate. She’s an expert in helping people discover what is really going on, especially those who struggle with weight and body issues and never want to diet again. Bottomline: You can stop emotional eating with self-compassion and enjoy a much happier life.  “We don’t need more discipline, we need more compassion.” Yes, yes and yes. Join Petra & Anne as they talk why self-compassion, self-care (beyond the usual bubble baths), making peace with food, developing emotional protection, and re-mothering (recovering from a narcissistic parent) are the delightful delicious secrets you may have been missing for lasting weight loss and self-love.  INCLUDES PRACTICE: A guided meditation for self-compassion  so short and nourishing you can enjoy every day.  Quotes from the podcast Petra's words to live by The soul starts suffering when we hold ourselves back. Give yourself permission to be you.  A gentle warrior speaks her or his truth. They don’t put other people's needs first. Say no when you mean no, say yes when you mean yes, and maybe when you mean maybe. Self-Compassion We do not need more discipline. We need more nurturing. Self-care is not just chocolate cake and bubble baths. It's creating a life you don't need to regularly escape from. Self-care is really being in tune with your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.  We need to figure out how we refuel. Know your triggers Do a little internal emotional check-in: what's sitting well? what needs to be addressed? what am I struggling with?  A good inner barometer when you’ve sabotaged your own well-being is when you've said yes to something and you start feeling resentful. If you're a million miles from your truth, your life really doesn't fit anymore, and circumstances have become toxic, I would highly recommend working with a therapist. Life lessons When the suffering is so great, eventually letting go of the ledge will be a gift to yourself.  Sometimes we think these obstacles or these painful life experiences are so awful, but they're gate openers.  Lessons in life come as a whisper, a yell or two by four. I always say, Listen to the whispers. Don't wait for the two by four. It's so important to identify what is no longer serving you. Re-mothering & relationships This whole concept of re mothering and nurturing yourself, having your own back is so critical. Become the person you needed most.  So great, let’s repeat that: Become the person you needed most.  We need to fill ourselves up with ourselves first and then meet another grown-up who has done his or her healing.  Eating & weight loss (Anne) I always think of weight loss as a metaphor, that you're emerging, the sense of who you really want to be is coming out. You're not stuffing down your feelings with food.  People eat for different reasons, often stress boredom, loneliness, you name it. And unlike addictions, we do need to eat. We don't need to smoke or do drugs or drink alcohol, but we do need to eat it.  Neuroplasticity We can rewire ourselves, even people with traumatic experiences, we can learn to make ourselves feel safe. We don't need to eat or drink alcohol or numb. We have all that available in our own brains and our own hearts. About Petra Beumer Petra is the Founder of the Mindful Eating Institute in Santa Barbara, California. She is a highly trained psychologist with over two decades of counseling experience and passionate about helping people identify their emotional triggers and make peace with food and their body. She is also a deeply inspiring, kind gentle soul and a wonderful guide to self-compassion. She offers a FREE 30 minute introductory counseling session. No pressure, no gimmicks. Just a kind soul ready to help you. Learn more here. Petra is also the author of the Mindful Eating & Self-Care Workbook. Podcast breakdown [00:03:00] Self sabotage- when you start feeling resentful, then you've maybe sabotaged your own wellbeing a little bit...but never beat yourself up for it. [00:05:00] If your life doesn't fit anymore and circumstances have become toxic, having a mentor or therapist can help.  [00:07:00] When the universe gives messages, listen. Warning signs include being less interested in things, anger, migraines, mild symptoms of depression. [00:09:00] For all my emotional eaters, I often ask: what is your heart hungry for? [00:11:00] Using journaling to tune into yourself.  Identifying what no longer serves you. What do you want to let go of? Really write that down on a piece of paper.  [00:14:00] The concept of re-mothering and nurturing yourself. Having your own back is so critical. I often invite people in a meditation to imagine a loving wise, elder standing behind you, lovingly and gently touching your shoulder. [00:16:00] Relationships fail because we need to fill ourselves up with ourselves first and then meet another grownup who has done his or her healing. [00:17:00] Diets fail if we don't address the depth of our true needs underneath the surface. [00:18:00] Talking about a woman who tried every diet on the market and still couldn't keep her weight off. How mindful self compassion helped.  [00:21:00]  The importance of rituals including gentle pausing and mindfulness.  [00:25:00] We can rewire ourselves, even people with traumatic experiences. We can learn to make ourselves feel safe.  [00:27:00] Talking about a night nurse - how she healed.  [00:30:00] It's okay to say, no. The importance of boundaries and self care.  [00:34:00] How you can learn to label your thinking like, Ooh, is this a negative thought? Is this serving me? No. And learn to replace it with the more beneficial thought.  [00:36:30] Petra leads a guided meditation on Self-Compassion, based on the work of self-compassion expert Kristen Neff