Power, Rank, and Privilege in Relationships

Come hang out with us for an honest and heartfelt conversation about power, rank, and privilege in human relationships. Eight incredible panelists—psychotherapists, community and culture healers, and facilitators from around the world—share personal stories, deep reflections, and real-life insights about how power shapes our lives in complex and surprising ways, even in how we see each other. This isn’t about quick fixes, but you’ll walk away with some practical ideas to try and maybe a fresh perspective on your own relationship with power. Watching this group come together and hold space for such a rich exchange is like a balm for the soul. Big love to Sadaf, Aryan, and Liz for staying up through the night to join us from India and Australia—you made this global conversation even more special. Episode Timeline 00:00 Introduction to Sidewalk Talk 01:04 Meet the Panelists 01:52 Defining Power, Rank, and Privilege 02:46 Personal Reflections on Power 04:49 Opening the Discussion 07:04 Exploring Power Dynamics 08:21 The Complexity of Power in Relationships 11:25 Interpersonal Power and Freedom 14:10 Power in Professional and Personal Contexts 21:56 Embodied Power and Conceptual Power 40:54 The Role of Community and Responsibility 46:00 Understanding Privilege and Power 46:55 The Role of the Body in Power Dynamics 48:33 Initiation and Spiritual Growth 49:53 Relationality Beyond Human Interactions 54:12 The Myth of Independence and Interdependence 57:03 The Importance of Grief and Healing 01:02:06 Stories of Authenticity and Connection 01:07:04 Children's Wisdom and Gender Identity 01:15:22 Closing Reflections and Gratitude   Standout Quotes Defining Rank, Power and Privilege: Power is the ability to get things done. And privilege is like the power in a certain context that will give you access to the resources more easily than the other. And rank is the accumulation of power, but that is … contextual and situational depending on the field that you're in. (Sara Huang)  Regulation What We Feel As Power:If we can regulate what's happening in here, then we can share whatever gifts, whatever love we have and find the pathways, not just to individual power, but to shared influence and relationship inside of it. (Eric Fitzmedrud) How We Use The Word Privilege:But I feel a lot of the concepts we use, for me, they don't hit the mark to help us develop our deepest powers, and they don't help us to be authentic with each other. So when I hear, just take the word privilege. Usually, I find in the discourses that I hear, people use [privilege]  as an accusation, “You're privileged,” or they use it as an apology,  “Oh, I'm so privileged.” And I've been thinking about privilege lately. Privileges is random. It's random. We don't choose the race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, whatever thing. We don't choose any of that. You get your circumstances in life. And then you make something of it.  (Dawn Menken) Shame, Blame, and Guilt:We've misunderstood shame, blame, and guilt. We think they're emotions, and they're not. They're actually where we go to hide from emotions. So when I hear them in the room, the first question I ask is, “What are you trying not to feel?” And often, it's just deep grief and sadness. And often, we'll take the shame, blame, or guilt so we don't have to take responsibility. And in a culture that's an adolescent adult culture, we want all of the freedoms and none of the responsibilities. Responsibility is the ability to respond, and so for me, that's stepping into our own agency. (Quanita Roberson) More Than Human World:Because a lot of the things I'm really interested in as someone who is trying to do my little bit to repair wisdom culture, is so much about that relationality with the sort of the more than or other than human world, as well as our relationship and our superiority and exceptionalism to the rest of the world. (Liz Scarf) Comfort vs Safety and Victim vs Truth of Who We Are:I think we often mi