Co-Parenting Solutions with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe | POF47

You will parent the way you were parented. Full stop. So when you’re parenting with your spouse and they parent in a way you dislike, this is actually your invitation to look at them with compassion instead of judgement. What do you know about their experiences as a child? How does that influence how they show up as a parent? Find out why encouraging them to attend parenting workshops or inviting them to read parenting books never seems to work! Dr. Vanessa shares the #1 thing you can do to turn things around! (hint: it starts with “L” and ends with “isten”) This episode is a must listen if you are together with your spouse or if you are parenting separately. Listen in as we talk about how to handle a volatile co-parenting relationship and how to avoid getting your kids entangled and hurt by the conflict. If you are worried that the person you are co-parenting with is a lost cause, learn how powerful it is that you can be their ONE. About Dr. Vanessa Lapointe Dr. Vanessa Lapointe is an author, parenting expert, and registered psychologist (British Columbia #1856) who has been supporting families and children for more than fifteen years. Author of Discipline without Damage: How to get your kids to behave without messing them up and Parenting Right From The Start: Laying a Healthy Foundation in the Baby and Toddler years, regularly invited media guest and contributor, educator and speaker, a Huffington Post Parent blogger, and a consultant to research projects and various organizations promoting emotional health and development, Dr. Vanessa is known for bringing a sense of nurturing understanding and humanity to all of her work. She presently works in private practice and has previous experience in a variety of settings, including the British Columbia Ministry of Children and Family Development and the school system. Dr. Vanessa’s passion is in walking alongside parents, teachers, care providers, and other big people to really see the world through the child’s eyes. She believes that if we can do this, we are beautifully positioned to grow up our children in the best possible way. As a mother to 2 growing children, Dr. Vanessa strives not only professionally, but also personally, to view the world through the child’s eyes. If you are interested in ordering Dr. Vanessa’s book, Parenting Right From The Start: Laying a Healthy Foundation in the Baby and Toddler years, you can order HERE • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.vanessalapointe/ • Twitter: https://twitter.com/drvlapointe • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drvanessalapointe • Email: [email protected] • Web: www.drvanessalapointe.com From the Episode: When you go to your spouse about a problem you want solved, don’t go in ready for a fight, go in ready to listen. Ask them what they are feeling and why. Repeat back to them what they have said (DO NOT attach to what they said just repeat it back). Then, when you are ready to make your request of them use “AND”. “You’re saying that you want our kids to grow up to be grateful and when you see them being selfish, it makes you really angry because you work so hard for everything we have. I see how that makes you so mad AND hitting them when they are upsetting you is something that cannot happen in the future.” Never throw your spouse under the bus! Do not try to poison the relationship with your ex and your kids. Always talk to your child about how they must be struggling and that “sometimes it’s hard for grownups” and that you can understand. “I know it makes you upset my love, daddy/mommy is just having a hard time right now and he needs time to work it out.” *Families are forever so when co-parenting ask yourself how can you be joined WITH your parenting partner? *Remember, when connection is high, resistance is low. When resistance is high, connection is low. (mic drop!) Thanks for...