We've Been Married A Hella Long Time

David and I have been married 24 years. That’s a hella long time. Today, my guest is none other than the attorney general himself, David Radke. We take on your questions about our lives and our marriage. Some of these questions are in response to my book Eat Cake. Be Brave. Some are in response to our struggles with infertility and our marriage relationship including broken trust. I hope David is ready to go there. David shares his background and why the attorney general is a fitting nickname. We share some fun facts about our history and our marriage. We also talk about forgiveness, going through the rough times, changing seasons, and finding your partner's love language. We also share why we are going on a brief hiatus from the podcast, but promise to be back. I want to share some of your stories, so please keep sending them in. You can find Melissa here: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter Show Notes [02:41] We are going to start off with some light questions and end with some light questions. We'll chew the meat in the middle. [02:55] What does your husband do for a living? [03:30] David and Melissa lived in Nashville for about 16 years. He graduated from Belmont University. He has a bachelor degree in music business. He managed music artists. [04:10] A lot of it involved contracts and negotiation. He did go to law school and become an entertainment attorney. David is an actual attorney, but he is not the attorney general. [04:56] David was involved with law for about 10 years. About a year ago, he left his law job to work in talent management, and Melissa is the primary focus of that talent. [05:18] He has been approached by others for television and management, and he can see some day doing that, but for now his focus is on Melissa's career. [05:48] Melissa says David really is an attorney. He really is a general. And as she says in the book, no fun can be found in him. She also loves him with all her heart and soul. [06:00] When we met in 1994 and fell in love, David always knew he wanted to manage my career. My career came much much later in life. [06:21] David never gave up on Melissa's career, but he didn't think it would happen 23 or 24 years later. [06:34] What is the most embarrassing thing Melissa has ever done? [07:35] David shares the story of when he met Melissa's parents when they first began dating. [08:21] David was the first guy that Melissa had ever brought home. The next morning they were sitting around the breakfast table and Melissa had a very embarrassing experience. [09:27] Melissa's also shares her runner-up embarrassing story. [09:38] Melissa also answers the question of what drives her crazy about David. He has a certain habit that drives her nuts. So she said. [10:59] A question about the chapter in Eat Cake. Be Brave called "Lovers and Leavers". [11:51] They have no regrets about putting the stories in the book. [12:09] How do you rebuild trust with your husband? [13:24] The grieving and loss made us different people. [14:07] Repairing the bridge has been a long process with a lot of counseling and a lot of rebuilding. [16:35] What boundaries did Melissa and David said early on to protect their marriage? [16:45] They got married at 20 years old. They just assumed everything would be great. [19:37] Melissa shares things that she did to try and rebuild her own self-esteem. [20:12] The work Melissa did on herself was actually a benefit for her marriage. [22:11] Melissa bought The Power of a Praying Wife, because she was going to pray for David. [23:06] Melissa put the focus on herself and fixed yourself. [23:15] How to set aside anger and work on the problem. [23:31] Anger is an extremely strong emotion. [24:55] Ask what catches your husband or wife when they fall. Is it a rose bush or a room full of pillows? [25:56] Sometimes we would have to strive every day to out serve each other. [28:01] Finding someone who you are truly and passionately in love with who is also your best friend makes 20 years less of a struggle. [29:13] Being deliberate and intentional and letting your husband know that he is needed. [30:55] The five love languages. Which are time, acts of service, personal touch, words of affirmation, and gifts. [31:58] We need to learn what our partners love languages are and give those to them. [32:57] In this season, David's are time and words of affirmation. [33:42] Melissa's are time and acts of service. [34:25] Do your homework and find out your spouse's love language. [34:49] Little things we do for each other to show our love. [37:20] We can't trade our car Big Darla in. Once you name something, it's yours. [38:54] The snooze button and running late is included in our morning routine. [40:27] David shares his love for going to the Astros game. [41:21] Who is our dream podcast guest? [42:59] Lightning round questions. [46:08] Melissa loves this podcast, and we'll be back. [47:02] Keep sending in your stories, because the world needs your story. Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you. Links and Resources: Podcast Web Page Facebook Page @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram @msmelissaradke on Twitter This Sucks But God Is Good (online course) Eat Cake. Be Brave. The Power of a Praying Wife The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts