Ugly Lamps and Broken Things

My good friend Whitney Lindsey will be here to share her story, but first I’ll be reading an excerpt from my new book Eat Cake. Be Brave. This is excerpt is titled The Old Tinkerbell Mermaid Rose Lamp, and I feel that it is especially relevant to the conversation I have with Whitney.   I met Whitney when she was going through an extremely rough time in her life. You might even say she was broken. We can go through a lifetime of throwing away and exchanging broken things, when things can often be fixed. Today, we shed light on what Whitney was going through as a person as she went through this season of her life.  Then we talk about who Whitney became and the season of her new life.   You can find Whitney here:  Whitney Lindsey on Facebook  Show Notes  [01:59] Excerpt from Eat Cake. Be Brave. The Old Tinkerbell Mermaid Rose Lamp.   [05:32] The first night that Whitney and Melissa met was at a Bible Study Class that Melissa was leading called Victory Over Darkness.  [06:57] Whitney was a little late to class that night, because she was a single mother of three daughters who she had to take to different places.  [07:16] Whitney came into class with poor posture and a defeated look.  [07:33] Three months prior to the meeting of this group, Whitney discovered that she and her husband weren't compatible anymore. This was the beginning of a long dark painful experience in their marriage.  [09:02] They had days and days of trying to make things better, but it only made things worse. More buried things were brought to life.  [09:42] Whitney's husband left, and it was a brand-new life for her.  [10:05] Whitney was shy and hid in the shadows of her husband during her marriage. Now that her husband was gone, it was time for her to come out of the shadows.  [11:01] Whitney knew it was time for her to make a change in her life, and she signed up for Melissa's Bible study class.  [12:02] Everything loses power when it is brought out into the light.   [14:04] Exchanging broken things that we think can be fixed.   [14:19] We're going to go from the inside out and talk about who Whitney was as a person while she was going through this season.  [14:47] Whitney wanted to overcome where she was and learn a new identity. Was she going to continue in darkness or go down the path of light?  [15:58] You can go to church your entire life and still not understand your identity to Christ.  [16:53] When you know how much God loves you, it changes your worth and what you need from people.  [18:01] Did Whitney become broken in marriage or did she go into the marriage broken? Whitney believes that her brokenness was one of the factors that ended her marriage.  [18:57] You can look whole and yet be fragmented.  [19:29] Marriage is hard.  [19:58] Whitney wanted to fix things because, she didn't want people to know that things were falling apart.  [20:27] There was a huge adjustment. Whitney not only lost her spouse, she lost her home, car, and her friends.  [20:41] Women often lose their self worth when their marriage ends.  [21:24] Whitney decided to start fixing herself. This was the beginning of a new day and a new journey.  [22:34] Whitney made it a priority to spend time with God. God gave her grace and favor the day she decided to turn things around.   [23:37] Whitney is now a product of a restored marriage, but this is more about what was happening to Whitney on the inside.  [23:57] Lovers and Leavers and staying and fixing and working on a marriage.  [24:34] Marriage is hard. Staying and making it work takes strength.  [25:34] Whitney believes that your greatest ministry is in your struggles. She was all in trying to make her marriage work.  [26:47] If God had not restored Whitney, her marriage would not have been restored.   [27:14] Do the hard work yourself and become a self feeder.  [28:08] Whitney's faith brought her husband back. He saw her whole attitude and demeanor change.  [29:38] You can't argue with kindness.  [30:18] Whitney has natural kindness, but she also extended grace towards her husband before the healing process began.  [30:25] She extended the grace to her husband that God had extended to her.  [31:16] Sin is sin. We all mess up. None of us are perfect. If we all extend grace, the world would be a better place.  [32:32] Kids see and feel everything during a divorce.  [34:10] Whitney's daughters got to see Whitney live a life of independent freedom and loving life. They also got to see her parent's marriage restored.   [35:29] Whitney started dating Justin, and they got married again on a Saturday.  [36:50] Her daughters carried a sign that said, “Daddy, here comes Mommy.”  [37:08] Whitney's first marriage has been nothing compared to her second marriage. Whitney went from needing her husband to wanting her husband.  [38:12] Without the divorce, Whitney would not be the woman that she is today.  [39:05] It has been a whirlwind of three years, and Whitney is humbled and awed by what God has done.  [39:56] Why are we so quick to want to replace broken things instead of fixing them?   [40:18] There is so much beauty in the brokenness.  [40:50] Living a stained glass life. It's all of those broken pieces that make us who we are. God puts all of these pieces together to create a masterpiece.  [44:12] The lightning round…  [45:49] More from The Old Tinkerbell Mermaid Rose Lamp  [48:09] The fixer is Jesus.  Thanks for joining us on Ordinary People Ordinary Things. Be sure to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes and leave a nice review. Just like your mother taught you.  Links and Resources:  Podcast Web Page  Facebook Page  @MsMelissaRadke on Instagram  @msmelissaradke on Twitter  This Sucks But God Is Good (online course)   Eat Cake. Be Brave.   Victory Over the Darkness  The Self Feeder  Definition of Grace  Tony Evans  Redeeming Love