N4L 075: "Women Rowing North" by Mary Pipher

From Mary Pipher, bestselling author of Reviving Ophelia, we now get Women Rowing North, a guide to wisdom and authenticity for women as they age. Cultural therapist Pipher, age 71, understands how women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny, grief, and loss. Yet her message is clear and hopeful: most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their very struggles help them let go of stereotypes and grow into authentic, wise, and empathetic women. Pipher's own life and her many roles have schooled her in ways women can cultivate resilient responses to their challenges. "If we can keep our wits about us," she writes, "we will experience a joyous time of our lives. If we have planned carefully and properly, if we have good maps and guides, the journey can be transcendent." 00:15 Intro to Mary Pipher, author of Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age 00:50 Other books by Pipher: Reviving Ophelia, The Shelter of Each Other, and Another Country 01:45 Chooses the metaphor of “rowing north” as a bookend to Reviving Ophelia 02:20 Younger and older women all live with cultural stereotypes and scripts 03:30 What does it mean to be old? 04:00 All of Pipher’s books stem from a deep curiosity about her own life 04:20 “Young" old age” vs. “old" old age 05:40 Women 65-75 are the happiest people in America 06:15 Most women deny being old in order to distance selves from cultural script and stories 07:20 Older women tend to be social connectors and experience a time of tremendous growth 08:00 Age can be a source of happiness, bliss, and satisfaction 08:30 Choosing happiness—a skill set often found among women in 70s 10:30 Jane Jarvis, musical prodigy (pianist), had everything she needed to be happy right between her ears 12:00 Age brings changes in body image, social invisibility, and loss of abilities 12:45 How women can reclaim their power 13:00 Story of Michelle Obama’s mother coming to live in the White House 13:45 Exploding the tired, old mother-in-law myth 14:45 "Solutions can’t be legislated; they come from the human heart." 15:15 Female friends give women power and support 15:45 Older women can rescue themselves using decades of practice fighting back against negative messaging 17:00 The power of saying “No” (walking out of any situation we don’t want to be in) 17:45 The power of saying “Yes” (instead of stilling the inner voice) 18:15 Taught to be “good girls” instead of learning to take care of ourselves 19:30 Finding a healthy approach to caregiving, which is very hard work 21:10 Contradictory research on caregiving 21:40 Caregivers need respite and creative strategies for bringing friends into the home 23:50 Keeping connections as lifelines 24:50 True secret of happiness is managing expectations 25:30 Defining happiness on your own terms 26:50 Old age is catalytic for growth 27:00 Suffering increases capacity for bliss, gratitude, empathy, moral imagination, and authenticity 28:30 Stories of resilience, gratitude, and perspective 30:40 How to lean into lessons of suffering without denial 31:20  Taking a gentle approach to our own pain and suffering 31:50 “All of us keep so many appointments we did not make, but we always have choices about how to reframe those experiences.” 32:00 Crafting resplendent narratives: we can’t have a better history, but we can have a better story 32:30 Older women tend to joke around very well and unselfconscious about their bodies 34:20 Time (the most valuable resource of all) = wealth 35:50 Many older women happy because, for the first time in their lives, they can do what they want with their time 36:50 Women becoming intentional moral storytellers for their families 41:00 A great gift of old age: the long view of family and a lifetime 41:55 Blessing of old age: the freedom to be honest 43:30 Small things can bring enormous joy 44:15  Book contains discussions of death, loneliness, and more 44:50 Recommendation: The Trip to Bountiful (1985 movie)   BUY Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing As We Age MORE BOOKS BY MARY PIPHER BUY Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls BUY The Shelter of Each Other BUY Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders RECOMMENDATION  BUY The Trip To Bountiful (movie) Connect with us on social media! Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Special thanks… Music Credit Sound Editing Credit