N4L 062: "Thanks for the Feedback" by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen

Authors Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen teach skills for receiving feedback in their book, Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well. Subtitled Even When It Is Off Base, Unfair, Poorly Delivered, and, Frankly, You're Not in the Mood, the book strikes at the heart of why getting feedback can be uncomfortable, awkward, and even painful. Stone and Heen hit the troubles and triggers that surround the skills we need to accept opinions and advice from others. 00:15   Intro to Doug Stone, author of Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well 00:25   Founder of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School 02:00   Janet’s daughter-in-law read Feedback at Vivint (company) book group 02:20   Vivint employees share their feedback with Stone 02:40   Book includes good advice for feedback givers, too 02:50   How should we give feedback to those who don’t want to receive it? 04:20   Why Stone focuses on receiving rather than on giving feedback 06:00   Receiving feedback can be both really hard and really helpful; an active skill 07:00   Long subtitle explains the feedback conundrum 07:45   Most don’t really want feedback; life experiences tell us it can be painful or wrong 08:20   Receiving feedback not the same as taking feedback 09:30   Types of feedback: appreciation, coaching, evaluation (We need all three!) 09:45   We get emotionally tangled when we hear one kind and need another 10:45   Coaching: at the heart of feedback; helps us improve; can be specific 11:10   Evaluation: ranks or places us; comparative 13:00   Receivers should elicit from feedback givers the kind of feedback they need/want 15:10   Norman Rockwell’s triple self-portrait included at end of book 16:00   How to amplify our own blind spots 17:00   Paradox – think we know ourselves best, yet feedback often reflection of unknown parts 17:45   Unbeknownst to us, body language and facial expressions can belie our true selves 19:15   Increase awareness of our silent messages by actively soliciting help from others 21:20   Use language that elicits the precise type of feedback you’re seeking 24:40   Genuine, truthful feedback can jeopardize relationships 25:10   Book’s teachings can give voice, confidence, and power to strengthen relationships 25:30   Asking for workplace feedback can make you easier to work with 27:15   Feedback can enhance our “growth mindset” (Carol Dweck) 28:45   Unclear feedback (coaching vs. evaluation) – receiver can choose which to hear 29:45   Coaching feedback easier to take in than evaluation 30:45   “Constructive criticism” 31:20   Two kinds of coaching: how to improve you and how to improve a relationship with you 34:00   How to avoid the “Google bias” 38:50   Receiving feedback requires a degree of courage 40:45   Reframing feedback makes it easier to receive 41:30   In business, make the topic of feedback easy to discuss 44:30   Recommendation: True Colors Card Game: What Do Your Friends Really Think of You? BUY Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well BUY True Colors Card Game Connect with Nonfiction4Life! Facebook Instagram Twitter YouTube Website Special thanks… Music Credit Sound Editing Credit