MP 097: How Do I Connect With My Spouse When We Both Feel Flooded From a Pandemic?

To help us explore this question, I interview Tim and Pam Elmore. Tim has written a book called The Pandemic Population. Dr. Tim Elmore is the founder and president of Growing Leaders. While Tim was becoming an expert in how to lead the next generation, Pam was putting in the hours in the field of leading their two kids. Tim and Pam have an amazing way of taking research and making it practical and hopeful. I know this is going to really enlighten you.    Interview:   What does it look like at the Elmore house during pandemic times? (1:23) You say there’s some amazing research about why this is such a tough time for couples. What are you finding in your research? (2:24) Tim, what’s going on in our brains right now? (4:08) Do you ever feel like you’re having moments of an out of body experience? (5:18) Pam, do you have a story for our neuroscientist friends? (7:20) What do you guys think about all the structure that’s been removed - does that play any role in this? (11:34) Give me a couple examples of what these things could look like for couples (15:40) What’s the difference between accepting that these are tough times and normalizing it, versus not taking action? (18:50) Pam, it also feels like guys are fixers and I keep forgetting that during this time. Are you that way - do you just want to feel this instead of being ‘guided’? (20:45) Things are so emotional right now, I think if we can figure out how to practice marriage right now we can have opportunities to try things again. We haven’t had this much tension back-to-back in a long time (25:40) From a faith perspective, how do you see God in the middle of all this chaos? (27:32) We always want to make marriage real, fun and simple. Can you guys speak to the folks listening who don’t have hope right now? (33:30) It feels like we’re triggering each other a lot during these days. Talk to those of us who are in flight or fight mode - what do they do in that moment when they get triggered that will lead to growth later and not damage? (39:36)   RESOURCES: Growing Leaders The Pandemic Population: Eight Strategies to Help Generation Z Rediscover Hope After Coronavirus     We’d love to connect with you on Instagram or Facebook!   This episode was brought to you by the Married People Membership—an affordable, monthly subscription that provides married couples like you a ton of great resources every month to help you do marriage better. That means new date nights, videos, eBooks, messages, and more available to you when you need it - all in one place at one low price. Go to our website to find out more about the Married People Membership.   We hope you’ll join us for next week’s episode!