Chasing Physical Pain and Discovering Tenderness with Margo Steines

“Your identity and your life is lived through your body”In a time where many of us find ourselves disconnected from our bodies, Margo Steines relentlessly chased physical pain. As she recalls in her gripping memoir “Brutalities: A Love Story”, Margo pursued extreme experiences—drugs, sexual violence, and abusive relationships—as avenues to escape psychological discomfort and to feel alive.Throughout this episode, Margo shares her ever-evolving relationship with her body from working as a professional dominatrix, to an ironworker, and later as a writer and mother, the latter of which revolutionized her relationship with her body. It is a profound conversation on identity evolution, mental health, family dynamics, self-love, and what it means to be human beings living within physical bodies in this confusing modern world. Join us as we discuss:Margo’s path to pursuing pain through sex work and BDSMThe power of aging and how it allows us to uncover profound truths about ourselvesNature vs. nurture and how inherent traits and environmental influences shape our identities in different waysThe lasting impact of childhood experiences in shaping adult behavior and coping mechanismsThe interconnectedness of body and identity and the transformative effect of motherhoodThe importance of ongoing self-reflection, growth, and embracing the fluidity of identityOUR GUEST: Margo Steines holds an MFA in nonfiction writing from the University of Arizona, where she is faculty in the Writing Program. Her work was named Notable in Best American Essays and has appeared in The Sun, Slate, Air Mail, Brevity, Off Assignment, The New York Times (Modern Love), the anthology Letter to a Stranger, and elsewhere. She is the author of the memoir-in-essays ‘Brutalities: A Love Story’. Margo is a born-and-raised New Yorker, a journeyman ironworker, and serves as mom to a small person. She is also a private creative coach and writing class facilitator. You can read more about her practices at margosteines.com.Want more Margo? Find her online at https://www.margosteines.com and her book HERE. Take her writing classes at https://www.margosteines.com/classes Follow Margo on Instagram @redstateblues and Twitter/X @margosteinesWant more Hotter Than Ever? Find us and episode transcripts online at www.hotterthaneverpod.com and sign up for our mailing list! Follow us on:Instagram: @hotterthaneverpod  TikTok: @hotterthaneverpod   Youtube: @hotterthaneverpod  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090728330453  Follow Hotter Than Ever wherever you listen to podcasts so you never miss an episode! We’d love to hear what you think about the show - tell us what stories are resonating with you by writing us a review on Apple Podcasts.