147. The Secret to Success Is Likeability Rather Than High Status with Mitch Prinstein

Mitch Prinstein joins me in this episode to explore why it’s so important to be likable instead of high status. Mitch is the author of Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships. He’s also board-certified in clinical child and adolescent psychology. Mitch shares his thoughts on how we can increase our likability, online romantic relationships, time spent on social media, and much much more! Find Out More About Mitch Here: Mitch PrinsteinMitch Prinstein at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill@mitchprinstein on TwitterMitch Prinstein on WikipediaMitch Prinstein on LinkedInMitch Prinstein on Facebook In This Episode: [01:29] - Mitch talks about his book, and what inspired him to write it. [03:45] - We hear more about the distinguishment between likeability versus status, and where that leads. [06:15] - How do we take specific practical application of this likeability factor of popularity and improve our likeability and influence in our social spheres, and make a bigger impact? [08:39] - Mitch discusses how we can assess whether we’re going down the wrong track, and points out the importance of looking at our relationships to assess our likeability. [12:26] - We go through a few different use cases where likeability trumps status in terms of impact for the person and the community. [16:17] - Stephan talks about an epiphany he had related to his kids. Mitch then responds and elaborates on Stephan’s point. [19:03] - We hear about a powerful framework that Stephan learned from Pia Mellody. [23:25] - Isn’t it important to see that we live in a friendly universe, instead of one that’s cold and dark and desolate? [28:16] - Mitch shares his thoughts about what age he would want his child to start using social media and a smartphone. [31:10] - Stephan points out that whether we like it or not, kids will have access to porn and disturbing images. [34:14] - Mitch explains one of the reasons why he’s been talking to many kids around the country. [37:47] - What does a dysfunctional marital relationship look like for someone who spent way too much time on social media and digital device? [39:47] - Mitch explores one of the limitations of our electronic and media-related communications. [42:47] - One of the problems with the way that popularity is being cultivated today through social media is that it’s about being popular with a group of people you have no intention of ever meeting. [45:24] - Mitch shares his thoughts on online romantic or sexual relationships where there’s no intention of meeting in person. [46:44] - What should we be doing to increase our likeability? [49:00] - We learn about some empathy-building exercises that we can do. [54:51] - Stephan shares some similar approaches to what Mitch has been describing. [57:42] - What next steps would Mitch recommend for listeners? Links and Resources: Mitch Prinstein Mitch Prinstein at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill @mitchprinstein on Twitter Mitch Prinstein on Wikipedia Mitch Prinstein on LinkedIn Mitch Prinstein on Facebook Joseph Allen at the University of Virginia Tony Robbins Dr. John Demartini on the Optimized Geek Pew Research Center CaptainSparklez PewDiePie Amy Africa Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt on the Optimized Geek Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Byron Katie on the Optimized Geek