133. Dancing With Your Fears with Kristen Ulmer

In this transformational conversation with Kristen Ulmer, you’ll learn how to dance with your fears. You’ll learn how to talk to your feelings of fear in a way that honors yourself instead of rejecting part of yourself. Kristen is a true expert on fear. She was recognized as the best female big mountain extreme skier in the world for twelve years and was voted the most fearless woman athlete in North America. As you’ll learn, though, she isn’t fearless. Instead, she knows how to appreciate fear in a healthy, productive way. Find Out More About Kristen Here: Kristenulmer.comKristen Ulmer on FacebookKristen Ulmer on Instagram In This Episode: [02:17] - What was Kristen’s impetus to write about fear? She answers, then addresses how she balances fear and flow. [06:18] - Kristen addresses the question of what unraveled for her after ten years of ignoring fear. [10:33] - “Whatever you won’t look at is the key to freedom,” Kristen explains as she discusses what she did after having her revelation about fear. [11:54] - What’s the process for repairing your relationship with fear? In her answer, she lists four distinctly different ways that people deal with fear. [16:14] - Kristen discusses what she would say to someone who argues that lots of what we fear will never come to pass, so fear is a waste of energy. [18:53] - We hear more about the significance of Kristen’s analogy of fear being locked away in the basement. [21:15] - Whatever fear feels, you feel, Kristen points out. Whatever you feel toward fear, you also feel toward yourself. [24:14] - Kristen gives an example of how she tries to talk to fear now, instead of telling it that she hates it and wants it gone. [25:58] - Stephan takes a moment to share his experience with tapping and how it allowed him to do things that he had previously felt too much fear about. [28:00] - Tapping is great and successful for getting you through a difficult moment, Kristen explains. She then offers a healthier alternative that doesn’t suppress fear or push it off to deal with later. [33:28] - Stephan shares his reactions to the tool or strategy that Kristen has just suggested, comparing it to the concept of letting the tiger devour you. [35:44] - Our language is important in how we look at fear, Kristen explains. [38:48] - Is Susan Jeffers’ message about “feel the fear and do it anyway” is in conflict with what Kristen is saying, or is it part of the same message? [39:50] - Kristen explains why it’s important to feel your fear instead of think about your fear, or even think about feeling your fear. [44:29] - Most people who come across as fearless, or who are doing big things in their lives, are blocking out their fear. Kristen reiterates that this only works for about ten years. [47:03] - Kristen points out that fear lies behind many different shadow voices, such as guilt, unworthiness, and shame. [49:19] - What are some exercises that Kristen would recommend to help people stay meta-aware when it comes to fear? [52:03] - Fear isn’t what holds you back; it’s your resistance to fear, or your unwillingness to feel it, that holds you back. Stephan then shares his own experience with the power of words. [55:09] - In response to Stephan’s story about his stem cell procedure, Kristen shares the only experience with doing the procedure without anesthesia. [58:53] - How can listeners learn more about Kristen or work with her directly? Links and Resources: kristenulmer.com Kristen Ulmer on Facebook Kristen Ulmer on Instagram The Art of Fear by Kristen Ulmer Ravé Mehta on the Optimized Geek Tony Robbins Tapping Oneness University The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels Feel the Fear… and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers Dr. Harry Adelson on the Optimized Geek