Ep. 152: A Roadmap for Parenting Differently Wired Kids with Debbie Reber

Today we are welcoming back parenting activist and previous podcast guest, Debbie Reber. Debbie and I have had the opportunity to speak on multiple occasions and her support for parents of differently wired kids is extraordinary. As the founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting, Debbie has provided resources to parents around the world and uses her own experiences as a parent of a neurodivergent child to help other families navigate their unique journeys. In our conversation today, we are talking about her five step roadmap for parents. Parents of differently wired kids don’t get a roadmap for their journey, a journey which can be anxiety-provoking and lonely. But Debbie has created one and in our discussion, she shares what the steps are and why they are so important. And after learning each step, she explains how this roadmap changes in middle school. It is a conversation and resource you won’t want to miss.   Show Notes: [2:38] - Congratulations to Debbie for her 7 years of incredible work. [4:57] - Once it is understood the reason behind a behavior, it is easier to address it and support regulation. [6:44] - Karen has seen a shift in parents coming in for assessments not to “fix” their child but to better understand them. [8:47] - Homeschooling her own differently wired child for six years impacted Debbie’s understanding of the connection between learning and the environment. [11:02] - Debbie has created a roadmap for parents. This tool is incredible because parents typically don’t get a roadmap for raising a neurodivergent child. [12:26] - The first step on the roadmap is processing. Give yourself time to take a breath and get clear on what your values and goals are as a family. [15:04] - The second step is connecting. This journey feels isolating. [16:27] - Gathering is the third step and Debbie explains that it is all about creating your team. [19:36] - The next step is prioritizing. We can’t do it all at once and at any time in the journey, parents can get overwhelmed. [22:44] - If a child is not regulated, no meaningful growth will take place. [24:33] - The last step in the roadmap is acceptance. We’re here to support our kids. Part of acceptance is knowing that this is really hard. [26:18] - Our kids are constantly changing and the transition to middle school is particularly challenging. [27:47] - Sometimes you have to revisit things you already understand. For example ADHD in a 6 year old is different when they become a teenager. [29:47] - You have your limitations as a parent. You can’t do it all. [31:01] - The social landscape gets more complicated as a child ages and is certainly different from what parents experienced as adolescents. [33:05] - It’s important for us to unpack our own middle school trauma and experiences because they’re going to impact our parenting. [35:34] - Be your child’s companion through this journey.   About Our Guest: Debbie Reber, MA is a parenting activist, bestselling author, speaker, and the CEO and founder of Tilt Parenting, a resource, top-performing podcast, consultancy, and community with a focus on shifting the paradigm for parents raising and embracing neurodivergent children. Her most recent book, Differently Wired: A Parent’s Guide to Raising an Atypical Child with Confidence and Hope, came out in June 2018. After living abroad in the Netherlands for five years, Debbie, her husband, and differently wired teen moved to Brooklyn, NY in 2019.   Connect with Debbie Reber: Tilt Parenting Website   Links and Related Resources: Tilt Parenting Roadmap   More Conversations with Debbie and Karen: Tilt Parenting Episode 320: Dr. Karen Wilson on How and When to Talk to Kids About Their Diagnoses Diverse Thinking Different Learning Episode 144: Raising Differently Wired Kids with Joy and Confidence with Debbie Reber Tilt Parenting Episode 192: Dr. Karen Wilson on How to Know if Your Child is Ready for the Transition to Elementary School   Connect with Us: Get on our Email List Book a Consultation Get Support and Connect with a ChildNEXUS Provider Check out some amazing schools for incredible students