Sex, Shame, and Brokenness with Shalee Lehning

Shame is hard. Shame around sex and sexuality is really hard. Some of us feel shame from our own sexual sin. Others of us feel shame from others who have sinned against us sexually. Some of us grew up in Christian households that didn’t handle the topic of sex and sexuality well so we’ve experienced shame about sex even within the context of marriage. This is all hard. How do we develop a biblical view of sex and sexuality? How can we find healing and hope? Today, we’re joined by Shalee Lehning. Shalee works on staff at Harvest USA, which is a biblically-based organization that works to help people of all different ages and backgrounds who deal with gender and sexuality issues. Shalee co-wrote a book with Ellen Dykas called “Sexual Faithfulness: Gospel-Infused, Practical Discipleship for Women”. There’s also a FREE course on this topic with guides for leaders and participants. You can find all of this at harvestusa.org. Be sure to follow Harvest USA on Instagram (@harvestusa) for more helpful content. Here are some questions we covered in this interview:   What is shame? (6:16) Why is sex and sexuality in particular an area that is often surrounded by a lot of shame? (7:47) What is sex supposed to be like according to God’s design? (11:42) One reason for shame surrounding sex is because of past or present sexual sin. How should we respond to this kind of shame? (15:57) Many people believe that if they sinned sexually that they are “damaged goods,” “unforgivable,” “undesirable,” etc. How would you respond to these ideas? (21:48) What encouragement or advice would you give to the person who has been violated sexually in some way and is struggling with shame? (​​26:19) A lot of believers who grew up in Christian circles struggle with shame surrounding sex even in the context of a monogamous, Christian marriage. Maybe it feels scary, dirty, or wrong. Why do you think that is? (30:46) How can someone who is experiencing this kind of sexual brokenness within their marriage find healing? (37:47) Maybe for someone listening, it is their spouse that is struggling with this kind of shame. How can a wife support her husband or a husband support his wife through these struggles, and how can they address their own insecurities that may arise from feeling unwanted or at fault for their spouse’s struggles. (40:17) For those of us who have some kind of influence over kids (parents, teachers, sunday school volunteers, aunts and uncles, etc.), how can we approach the topic of sex in a way that helps them grow up with a healthy view of sex according to God’s design? (44:56)     Resources mentioned in this episode: Sexual Faithfulness: Gospel-Infused, Practical Discipleship for Women by Harvest USA Sexual Faithfulness Leader’s Guide by Harvest USA God, You, & Sex: A Profound Mystery by David White On the Threshold of Hope: Opening the Door to Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse by Diane Langberg Your Dating Relationship and Your Sexual Past by Ellen Mary Dykas Knowing God by J. I. Packer Ep. 86 God’s Design for Sex by Daily Grace Ep. 118 Navigating Toxic Relationships With Ellen Dykas by Daily Grace Harvest USA Bookstore   Scripture mentioned in this episode: 1 John 1:7 John 4:1-43 John 8:1-11 Psalm 34:4-5   Connect with us: Subscribe to Daily Grace: on iOS, go to our iTunes page and click subscribe.  On Android, click this podcast RSS feed link and choose your podcast app.  If needed, you can copy this link directly into your favorite podcast app (like Stitcher or Overcast). Or follow us on Spotify! We would love it if you took a few minutes to leave us an iTunes review to help spread the word about Daily Grace!  We want to invite more women into our conversations! Download The Daily Grace app: for iOS, click here to download.  On Android, click here to download. Visit The Daily Grace Co. for beautiful products for the whole family that will equip you on your journey to knowing and loving God more.  Subscribe to The Daily Grace Newsletter and receive free Bible study resources in your inbox.  Like The Daily Grace Co. on Facebook. Follow @dailygracepodcast on Instagram for exclusive podcast content and @thedailygraceco for all things The Daily Grace Co. Engage with our Facebook community, “The Daily Grace Co. Community”.  Read The Daily Grace blog for encouragement throughout the week that is steeped in biblical truths. * Affiliate links used are used where appropriate. Thank you for supporting the products that support the production of this podcast! *  The opinions of guests on the Daily Grace podcast do not represent the opinions of The Daily Grace Co., and we do not necessarily endorse the resources that they recommend or mention on the show. We believe it is valuable to hear from a variety of guests, even if we do not agree in all areas. As always, the statements made by hosts and guests on the show should be tested against God's Word, the only authority on truth.