Being Unoffendable

Many people have trouble separating their opinions from their inner sense of self. When someone opposes or insults that opinion they perceive it as a threat or insult to who they are instead of to a thought or opinion they hold. An easily offended person takes on the role of the victim or surrogate victim if they are not the target of the perceived insult. At it’s core being easily offended comes from unchecked or even unknown insecurity. The unoffendable person values relationships more than feelings of insult or even being correct. They may find what the offender has done to be hurtful or offensive yet they value the relationship more than their own feelings. They are able to set their feelings aside to address the actual issue at hand and not be driven by fear and shame. There is a very big difference between being insulted and verbal or psychological abuse. In this we are not talking about standing up for yourself if you are being abused. That is not being offended. We are talking about being overly sensitive or looking for insult in something when none was intended. Being unoffendable doesn’t mean that you don’t stand against what is wrong, nor that you have to accept and be friends with people who you may find disagreeable or offensive. It means that you value yourself and your relationships more than a feeling of satisfaction at “being right”. Use the information presented in this episode to look at yourself and ask if you are too easily offended. Think about times when you have been offended by something or someone. Ask yourself why did that particular event cause me so much pain that I was offended. Doing this will start your journey toward being unoffendable. Check out the public after cast on Patreon for Tips on Becoming Unoffendable. Episode Breakdown Understanding Offense What does it mean to be offended? The dictionary definition of offended is “resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.” Getting your feelings hurt is not the same as being offended. Being offended is an emotional state, it is an animosity toward the other person. What is going on when a person becomes offended? They respond as if it is an attack on them as person, even if it’s not directed toward them. The person tends to think of themselves highly and the offending action contradicts their view of themselves. Other situations can lead to a person begin more offendable such as their mood, stress level, etc. Misery loves company, so does offense. People who are offended want to get others to feel the same. What causes a person to become offended? People tend to be most offended when the offending action hits an insecurity, especially if it is one they didn’t know about. Offense comes from a feeling of inferiority, typically over compensation for that inferiority and feeling called out on it or insulted by something someone does. People get offended when they think there is only one way to do things and someone breaks from that way of doing it. When a person thinks too highly of themselves they become sensitive to criticism and unable to accept any beliefs that do not perfectly align with their own. Signs You Are Easily Offended Your insecurities dominate your life. You will insult others or point out their flaws to make yourself feel better or superior. You cannot accept criticism or that you might be wrong. You need validation from others in order to feel that you are worth something. You are constantly complaining about something.