482.1 The Ethics of Teacher-Student Romantic Relationships

The Ethics of Teacher-Student Romantic Relationships The Association for Spiritual Integrity does not have a moralistic, judgmental orientation. It’s a community endeavor. We don’t agree among ourselves on certain points. We’re trying to balance our subjective perspectives with standards that fit our contemporary culture. A key point of disagreement is the issue of teacher-student romantic/sexual relationships. None of us are rigid or adamant in our opinions. We’re trying to work it out. There are exceptions to every generality. In graduate school, psychotherapists are taught that it will never be appropriate for therapists and their clients to become partners. Relationships tend to be the most challenging aspect of people’s lives. These challenges shouldn’t bleed into a teacher’s teaching activities. When a teacher/student or therapist/client relationship transitions into romantic involvement, the potential for growth is undermined. Sometimes “divine compulsion” arises in your spiritual path, shattering your conception of appropriate behavior. The problem with teachers who haven’t transcended desire and explored their own shadow. There can be a huge disparity between the apparent enlightenment of a teacher and their behavior. Isolation and being closed to constructive criticism can be very dangerous for a teacher. If a teacher doesn’t have friends other than his students, he might want to ask why. If he doesn’t have regular relationships and is always on a pedestal, he won’t get real-world feedback. The culture is changing anyway. We’re just trying to give voice to values that are becoming lively in collective consciousness. There can be a lot of practice involved in having your actions be a reflection of your deepest understanding. Discussion of this panel in the BatGap Community Facebook Group. Summary and Transcript of this discussion Recorded October 26, 2018 YouTube Video Chapters: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Panel Discussion Preparation 00:02:18 - Introduction of Panel Discussion and its Purpose 00:04:09 - The Fluidity of the Situation and the Need for Collaboration 00:05:42 - Discussing Regulation of Teacher-Student Relationships 00:07:13 - Teachers and romantic relationships with students 00:08:51 - The Importance of Boundaries in the Teacher-Student Relationship 00:10:02 - Messiness in Relationships and the Sangha 00:11:18 - The Importance of Boundaries in Therapeutic Relationships 00:12:27 - Breaking the Golden Rule 00:13:33 - Choosing God over my marriage 00:14:48 - The Journey of Teacher-Student Relationships 00:16:11 - Protecting Students from Teacher Misconduct 00:17:39 - Violation of Trust and its Consequences 00:19:01 - Projection into the Sangha 00:20:12 - Bringing the Conversation into the Light 00:21:24 - The Deception of Enlightened Teachers 00:22:29 - Building Accountability and Transparency 00:23:43 - The Power of Shared Accountability and Learning Together 00:24:57 - Reflections on Personal Growth 00:26:01 - Creating a Supportive Community 00:27:26 - Open Feedback and Accountability 00:28:33 - Dysfunction in Relationships and the Need for Community 00:29:31 - Coming together in support and solidarity 00:30:18 - Creating a new type of sangha 00:31:33 - The Importance of Continuous Learning and Growth 00:32:26 - Creating openness and transparency for genuine collaboration 00:33:38 - The Intractable Conversation 00:34:37 - The Importance of Ethics for Young Teachers 00:36:02 - Learning Boundaries and Working with Power 00:37:35 - The Gift of a Supportive Community 00:38:57 - Website Launch and Conclusion 00:40:13 - Music Introduction