Ep. 20: David Bunker Chats with Chunjay about Sexual Abuse, Recovery Groups, Postmodernism, Whiskey and Wine

  David and Chunjay discuss where they are and what they are doing for the weekend. David discusses the ups and downs of therapy. On the collapse of silence. What is lacking? Sometimes it’s not stuff. On living within the evangelical subculture. Discussing whiskey. On Jamey and David’s friendship, and the wisdom David imparted to him. On sharing stories. David is working on a project called Postmodern Hymns. On Christianity and Art. On the narrative of faith giving way to the narrative of consumption. On how Christian music has become a safe soccer mom thing. On John Reuben saying “shit” on his new record. Lots of other stuff. :) Kenosis - about emptying, not acquiring knowledge. On success vs. vulnerability. On being helpful to friends.   Great lines from David: “Sex is a gift or a curse, depending on how you handle it.” “Maybe postmodernity and consumption are not the best thing for the soul.” “I’m an older guy trying to figure out, ‘What is my legacy?’” “I get to be around children a lot. I find that the older I get, the more and more children make. They’re still vibrant about life.” “In ancient cultures, there was a lot more storytelling, and people had those stories inform them.” “As the consumption became more important than the proclamation, the proclamation got dumbed down, and the consumption went up, and so now it’s bad art, and it’s trying to talk about God simultaneously. It’s like, oh, crap, we don’t need more of this.” “Any guy who wants to walk in integrity with his sexuality knows that he needs assistance.” “I think self is much more communal. It’s not just communal in the sense of you’re meant to be a part of something bigger than yourself. You don’t become yourself until you understand you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. There’s a mutuality to it.” “What part of my life am I in denial about? Because I think somehow what has happened to  me in the past when I did those things, it wouldn’t happen again. What would lead me to believe that I could somehow bypass that? And when somebody tells you the story of where they’re at, it’s a reminder of their mutual vulnerability.” “Our culture doesn’t teach us to wait for the good stuff.” “I was trying to act like I was angry, because that was what I was told to do. The truth is, I had to get in touch with how pervasive those acts had…affected me, made me afraid of people, made me stand-offish, made me fearful of intimacy, made me distrustful of EVERYBODY. I’m talking at a deep level. Physically distrustful.” “And of course it fed into some of my weaknesses, like rather than be in a healthy sexual relationship, I would be more of a voyeur. I would stand apart. I didn’t know how to be in my body, because I left my body as a 6 year old kid.” “I’ve had to realize that not going to that place and processing that was very dangerous for my soul. I didn’t know it, but it was forming in me this sense that I was what happened to me.” “And we often tend to think like we are what happened to us. So if somebody divorces me unfairly, if someone abuses me unfairly, fires us unfairly, says something to us that’s unfair, there’s this part of us, the little kid inside, ‘Well, I guess that’s who I am.’ And then we start making decisions that affirm that. And then one day we wake up and find that we’re the perpetrator that hurt us.” “Now, it’s more of a protecting myself by believing what’s beautiful about me, what’s beautiful and true. And not what’s dark and hidden.” “Before I was trying to be angry because people would say, ‘Oh, he’s working on it.’” “Do you like tacos?” “Look at me, sure.”   Lines from Chunjay: “The intent and context. I played a couple of ‘Christian’ shows this summer, and I really am trying to avoid doing that. The must that I am writing now belongs in bars and breweries, and coffee shops where adults are. And I remember playing my first youth group in more than a decade. And I cut two songs out. It’s not that I said anything that was technic