How To Have A Thriving Relationship with a 5 | Ep. 389

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 5. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number.    If you are married to a 5 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 5, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 5 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better.    Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us.    Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info.    We pray you enjoy learning more about 5s in this episode!  Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox!  *Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!    NOTEWORTHY QUOTES “The enneagram is a helpful tool but it’s just a tool. The Gospel is what drives the transformational process in our lives.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s see the world as an overwhelming and intrusive place.” - Beth McCord “A Type 5s core fear is of being annihilated, invaded, and being thought of as incapable or ignorant.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s desire to have knowledge, insights, to be capable, and to be confident.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s core weakness is avarice; holding onto their mental resources and avoiding draining themselves from too much contact with others.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s wake up with about 25% of interactive energy (energy needed to interact with people) for the whole day; they need to ration out this energy throughout the day.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s usually don’t enjoy surprises and intrusions.” - Beth McCord “You can come alongside a Type 5 as a spouse by helping them plan out how they use the interactive energy they have.” - Beth McCord “It’s so important for us to view life through the lens of our spouse so we can have compassion, grace, and empathy towards them.” - Beth McCord “A lot of people misunderstand Type 5s because they think they’re being cold and detached but they’re probably acting that way because they’re feeling overwhelmed.” - Beth McCord “When a Type 5 is doing well they’re going to be very respectful, non-intrusive, very curious and observant; Type 5s are the best observers on the Enneagram.” - Beth McCord “When a Type 5 is not doing well they communicate very briefly, and come off as cold and arrogant.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s like to know a lot about specialized areas.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s want straight forward conversation. They’re not usually looking for long, drawn out, emotional dialogue.” -  Beth McCord “The longer you talk with a Type 5 the more you’re draining their interactive energy resources; it’s helpful to find out how much energy your Type 5 has and spread out conversations so you’re not draining all of their energy in one long conversation.” - Beth McCord “Give your Type 5 a warning if you want to talk about something so they have time to process.” - Beth McCord “If a Type 5 doesn’t feel like they have enough knowledge about something, they’re probably going to be silent as they process and think internally.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s like to go deep in a conversation, they do not enjoy small talk.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s are one of the most misunderstood on the enneagram because they are more secretive and private than the other types.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s are very sensitive and emotional people, they just don’t always bring it to the forefront and show that to outwardly.” - Beth McCord “It can be helpful to go on a walk with a Type 5 because they tend to process and think better when doing a physical activity.” - Beth McCord “God gave us marriages as one of the main ways that we can grow in this life.” - Dr. Kim “There is no perfect enneagram type combination in a marriage; all are beautiful.” - Beth McCord “It can be helpful to plan with your Type 5 what time each day they will have to be on their own and uninterrupted to recharge.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s can compartmentalize their lives and only share certain parts of their lives with certain people.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s love to mentally take things apart and innovatively put them back together in a new way.” - Beth McCord “Type 5s can stay focused on one subject for a long amount of time.” - Beth McCord   SPONSORS   Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order.    RESOURCES Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage.  Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today!  Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here.  Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY!  Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog.  Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course.  You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here.  Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying. Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here! Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here!